I'd just done the math. After spending a few days trying to adjust to the fact that the handsome co- leader of my small group was seven years my junior, I had just realized that he was actually eight years younger! I guess it was because I'd heard two or three stories of the woman being seven years older, so I'd sort of decided that was the outer limit of age difference acceptability. But the fact was, I was 3. Eight years is just too big of a difference. Then he approached the table with the same winning smile ? A question I receive often is, .
Age Gap Relationships
The Dating Equation: ½(your age) + 7. Age gap relationships actually work the best and they help to stop people from being ageist in the same way that mixed-race. The generation that toppled a president, ended a war and preached free love seems to be floundering when it com.
I fought those affections like crazy. Maturity. Leah says one of her biggest concerns when considering a man 1. From our first conversation, I could tell he was very mature for his age. I guessed he was about 2.
Once I learned his actual age, I was concerned that he might not be ready to settle down and have a family, when I definitely was. Even some 3. 0- something guys I knew didn't seem ready. At one point, he even confided that it had been his dream to have a wife and family since he was a young teen. I realized that Kevin was an .
Johanna said she found it a bit awkward to connect with her boyfriend, Paul’s, friends, even though he was only three years younger. I felt removed from their age and current life stage.
She and Paul married anyway, and over time the difference in maturity dissipated. Life stage. A friend once told me that the acceptable age difference was half the older person's age plus seven. While I don't think it's important to adhere to an arbitrary formula when considering age in a potential relationship (interestingly, when I met Kevin our age difference was exactly this ratio), I think it can be a good rule of thumb to help you consider if your relationship is appropriate. He had graduated from college two months earlier, so we were both in the workforce fulltime. Even though Kevin didn't have as much life experience as I did, our daily lives basically looked the same.
If he had still been a . If you hit it off because you both love rock climbing, consider if that's something that will be part of your relationship for years to come. Effect on the marital relationship. Another concern Leah had was whether she could submit to Travis as a spiritual leader. How will you address potential challenges, such as being on different biological timetables, one of you ending up a caretaker, the timing of children, or dealing with gaps in maturity? Finally, one day I blurted, . Age is just a number.
The problems we were talking through — for example, what if someday our sex drives didn't match up? We were just going to be more proactive about them. And while we could exercise wisdom in thinking through some of the unique challenges we might face, we could also trust Him with the details. God's will. Travis was also tentative when he first developed feelings for Leah. He explains that during his years at a Bible college, he gave his desire for a spouse over to the Lord and asked Him to determine who his wife would be. We wanted to be obedient to Him. The couple still serves together in ministry and has two teenage sons.
And as we spent more time together and I prayed about it, my worries disappeared. This evidence came in the form of confirmation from godly friends and family members, a shared heart for children's ministry, the natural discovery and deepening of our like- mindedness, and peace. For Travis and Leah, God provided specific confirmation.
An age difference is just one factor to consider. Looking back, Travis says, . But God brought us together, and He has sustained us.
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